Story 46 - 24.01.2021
Our fourth story of abortion during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“As soon as I discovered that I was pregnant I had mixed emotions. I was in panic, as I felt that 43 was not the right age for me to have a baby. Up until then, I had 3 pregnancies in all, of which 2 ended in miscarriages – one at 13 weeks and the other at 7 weeks. From the other pregnancy I had a healthy baby, but I had several problems during my pregnancy; every month there was something. But the worst was when at 29 weeks they told me that my life was in danger. My child was born by c-section at 35 weeks, so that I could start treatment as soon as possible. Luckily, he was born healthy. I went through treatment for a whole year.
When I found out I was pregnant again, all this came rushing back through my mind. I couldn't pass through it another time. I went to see a gynaecologist and pleaded for help to have the pregnancy terminated, but all he suggested was to take anxiety pills and not to think about it. He told me never to mention such things in his office, and that he would not suggest anything or from where to seek help. I started looking online, and thanks to Doctors for Choice I was provided with all the information needed. I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks; no heartbeat was detected, and I had several blood cloths. I waited for another week and had another ultrasound. This time there was a heartbeat, but several abnormalities were seen as well. When I asked about the abnormalities, I was informed that either I will have a miscarriage or if the pregnancy continued the baby would be born with anomalies.
I could not risk it and put a burden on my other child. After due consideration, me and my husband decided to terminate the pregnancy. I ordered the pills through Women on Web against a Euro 100 donation. I was afraid that I would not receive the tablets on time. I was also afraid of getting caught, as here in Malta I was doing something illegal. The restrictions to travel abroad during this time were another headache. Luckily, I received the pills within a week. Everything went exactly as indicated in the instructions they send you through email. My husband was with me throughout the whole process.
I am not ashamed of what I did as I did it for my own health and to protect my other child. But my country has failed me as a woman and as a citizen. Thanks to those who work for such organisations for providing the information and services needed to everyone who seeks help. Every person has their own reasons, and they are never to be judged. Help should be provided in our own country; we should not have to travel abroad.”